Have you read the book, What You Say When You Talk To Yourself, by Dr. Shad Helmstetter? It is an awesome read. He says in the book, "We become the programs that we get most" In other words, the things we say over and over again to ourselves, whether is out loud or not, gets stronger and stronger through repetition. We become what we give energy to.
Most people, when they set a new goal and before they even begin, have a pre-recorded tape playing in their mind, counting themselves out before they even start and telling themselves stories of why they won't achieve their goals. For example, let's say you want to lose some weight. You will do everything to set yourself up to start and in your subconscious, you have already said to yourself that the weight problem will never go away. Or you will look in the mirror and say, "I am so fat and disgusting". That is called, self-bullying or negative self-talk. These conversations that are repeated over and over again, whether they are said internally or externally, reinforces limited thinking, the story you believe and the script that becomes a habit.
Did you know, that Olympians in eastern Europe have full-time self-talk trainers? Yup, these trainers give positive self-talk messages to the athletes on how they can win and how good they are. The self-talk trainers give positive self-talks over and over again to the Olympic athletes. You see this exact thing in the big boxing fights. When the fighter is making his way into the ring you can see the coach or the trainer talking right into the ear of the fighter. I bet the coach is not saying "You suck. You aren't going to win." Of course, he isn't. The coach is saying, "You got this. I believe in you." The same approach can be done if we want to achieve something in life.
People often struggle with achieving goals because they never changed the problem that was holding them back. The internal dialogue, the private conversations, the gray matter you sit in. You have to change the automatic programming, the tape you play in your mind, the negative self-talk, and the limited thinking. By changing the program of what you say to yourself over and over again you will change your life.
One way to do this is to first decide with 100% certainty that you are going to achieve your goal and raise your standards of what you expect from yourself. Turn your "shoulds" into "musts" and do not deviate from that list. Next, is to go beyond the positive self-talk but by using incantations. Incantations are much more than just daily affirmations, they are repeated multiple times a day so that they transform your thought patterns and activate the law of attraction. However, the difference is that incantations are expressed with emotional energy, intensity, and conviction. You must FEEL what you are saying.
Here is a video of Tony Robbins explaining incantations
I Am The Voice
NOW I AM THE VOICE. I WILL LEAD NOT FOLLOW. I WILL BELIEVE, NOT DOUBT. I WILL CREATE, NOT DESTROY. I AM A FORCE FOR GOOD. I AM A FORCE FOR GOD. I AM A LEADER. DEFY THE ODDS. SET A NEW STANDARD. STEP UP!
Here are some further examples:
“All I need is within me now and I have the courage to see it through.”
“Every day and in every way, I’m getting better and better; Every day and in every way, I’m getting stronger and stronger.”
“I love my life and I am so blessed.”
You must FEEL what it is you want in life and use that to fuel your goals! It's more than just saying words.